For this piece of writing I have focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to:
Use a large productive vocabulary across the curriculum (Year 9/10)
Use a wide range of punctuation appropriately and with increasing accuracy. (Year 9/10)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal.
Here is my story The Final
The rain was pelting down on me like daggers. It was a freezing showery day at the Lincoln Netball courts. The courts were as wet and slippery as an ice skating rink, the hoops are a tap dripping with water. The smell of hot pies is wafting through the courts, making me drool. There are people milling around aimlessly like sheep in a field. The butterflies in my stomach are a lion roaring and surging as I wait to take the court. It is the final, Halswell A (my team) versus Rolleston A.
“Hands in” says Ellie one of our captains.”
“Team on 3, 1, 2, 3.”
“TEAM!” we all cheer.
Finally it’s time to start. We take the court. While we wait I play with my bib (GS). I am so nervous. The whistle blows and the game begins. Players are running around as if it was war but I suppose it is as two teams are battling it out to win.
I see the ball speeding through the air, it looks like it’s going 1,000 kilometres an hour. I brace myself for the impact of the ball. Just as I’m about to catch the ball, my player (the Goal Keep on the opposition) appears in front of me and trips me up. I tumble down to the ground and hear a crack. It’s sounds like a tree branch snapping off a tree. The pain shoots through my leg. I hear people yelling encouragement so I attempt to get up. As I get up pain shoots through my leg again like a lightening bolt. I tumble back down again. The pain is extreme. I dig deep and with pure determination I get up. The whistle blows and the game starts again. The ball goes flying down the court to the other end. While I wait for it to come back down I tenderly stretch my ankle and it still really hurts.
All of a sudden the ball is back down my end. I drive for the ball in pain. I catch it this time and quickly pass to the Goal Attack in the circle. She catches it swiftly and shoots it. It falls through the hoop. Relief rushes through me as we have scored the first goal. The ball goes back to centre and it’s our pass. Again the ball is coming down the court. It is as fast as a cheetah. All of the players are rushing towards it but thankfully one of our players comes up with the ball. She throws the ball at me with the strength of ten men. I catch it and shoot it before the defence is there. It goes in. The crowd whoops and cheers as the score is 2-0 to us. The ball volleys up and down the court. The whistle blows for the end of the quarter. That quarter has flown by I think as I walk off the court.
Once I’m off the court I grab a drink and as I bend down, out of the corner of my eye I see my ankle and it’s bigger than a whale. I realise that my ankle is still really sore. I tell my coach. I get it strapped with more tape than a mummy. When my ankle finished getting strapped I took the court with the rest of my teammates ready for the second quarter.
We win the game 40-35!